This month I’d like to share my thoughts about renewing and strengthen relationships of all kind. To me the first step which I think is the most important is deepening the connection with ourselves, asking 3 essential questions
- Why do I connect when I do?
- Why do I disconnect when I do?
- How does that make me show up in my relationships?
Everything in life begins with connection! Everything! Connection with our parents, to our children, our friends, our profession our dreams.
Every relation we have succeeds or fails based on our level of true connection. I believe that to connect with another person with the greatest potential for harmony and joy we must first learn to connect with ourselves. A beautiful song that I listen to when I need to reconnect and that captures the essence of connection is Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. I also enjoy watching the movie Sens dessus dessous (Inside Out).
Have you ever taken the time to think what connection really means?
As I watch the news all we hear is how things are unpeaceful, filled with stress and negative energy. How can we see the light in this constant flow of bad news and expect to find peace and harmony inside ourselves ? The good news is that the common thread between all people on earth is a mutual desire for a peaceful and fulfilled life. In these times priorities are reviewed and people let go of what doesn’t serve them and come back to what is the essence of their lives. We must start by looking inside for who we are and why we are here. Being in presence of horses even just for a short time can guide us by the mirror effect they provide. Authentic and non-judgmental feedback just to let us know where we really are inside. It’s a heart-to-heart silent conversation. I like to see it as a process of transformation just like the journey of a caterpillar becoming a cocoon and transforming into a beautiful butterfly. The cocooning stage is essential to be able to free itself from the cocoon and start to fly.
We to must go through the stage of cocooning and learn who we really are and become our authentic self. By becoming a butterfly, we can start by loving and connecting with ourselves and then we can connect to others. Life is made of relationships consisting of all the people we are connected to. When you say I relate to this person you have made a connection. When we do not relate to someone this opposite has occurred, we feel disconnected. So anytime we interact with someone there will be a successful connection or failure to connect. So, if we want to master the art of relationships, we need to recognize that we are connecting and disconnecting all the time. If your father promises to be present at your first recital and fails to do so trust breaks down and a touch of ressentiment builds up and the connection is lost. How you relate makes a huge difference at home, at work or among friends. Horses help us focus and discover an ideal relationship with yourself and each person you interact with and the human family as a whole. An ideal relationship is simply any relationship where there is a strong connection that can be trusted, brings peace, finds healing and being heard in what we are to communicate whenever a disconnect happens. A question I ask myself when I have to have a so-called difficult conversation is “What is the intention of my message” “What do I really what to communicate?” That helps to guide me how the conversation will go. If my intention is be right, I am sure to fail in my communication and the outcome most likely will be anger vs anger. If my intention is to express I felt in any given situation with the person it is more likely I will be heard. This will bring a discussion and giving space to each person to be heard. Often what makes relationships challenging comes down to one factor. We build the relationship from the outside in believing something we want is not happening because of someone else which is outside of us. We must learn how to create relationships from the inside out. The first rule to building heart to heart connections that even though it takes 2 people to create a relationship the responsibility for connecting start with you. If you have become skilled at connecting there is unlimited potential for growth in terms of peace, love, honestly, trust and compassion and moving together on a self-growth path. The second rule for creating relationship is your level of awareness. Heart-to-heart connection are never automatic they need attention as you become more aware you will turn your relationship around because you will know how to keep connection alive and be able to manage change more easily.
Horses are teachers and healers for us: these magical, sentient beings are loving, kind and intuitive that live in the present moment. Horses promote emotionality, leadership, and mindfulness and will reflect back to us the truth of who we are. Horses will help us examine how we communicate, build relationships, and function in our world; working with them will ignite your courage, vulnerability and inspire you to take a chance and believe in yourself. If our behaviour is somehow not aligned with what we are feeling a horse will know it, as they are very good at reading emotions and will see through any pretence- even when we cannot. Horses are natural teachers and offer a real mirror to increase self -awareness, as we connect with body and heart. Horses pick up on our intentions without fail, and any movement or change in their immediate environment never goes unnoticed- this also forces us to pay attention. Horses challenge us to earn their trust as we learn how to understand and respond to them. Equine-assisted therapy and learning is radically different from the typical therapy used in an office setting. It offers significant healing effects as we relax in being ourselves. This healing modality is considered highly effective in its ability to relieve anxiety, stress and tension. Even if you have never been around horses before; you will feel their energetic presence instantly. This is the power of connecting with hoses.
Connecting with horses is letting go, yet merging, to enter infinite and dancing with the spirit of the horse, a magical moment of mutal respect, harmony and partnership. Through this union, anything and everything is possible and we can become whatever we give ourselves the power to be. Sometines the connections happens without effort; at other times it’s something that we yearn for seemily elusive and tentative.
The secret to heart-to-heart connection rest on those 2 things staring with yourself and growing in awareness. Being in an ideal relationship is how we should be relating to ourselves. Relationships is being at peace with yourself and finding a connection inside that nothing can break from the outside. On those bases relating to anyone in your life will become much easier and more fulfilling. Other people become a reflection of the loving, kindly and peaceful relationship you have with yourself. Practice saying to yourself… “Ideal relationship are my intention today” I’m sure you will observe the difference with you interact with others. I will finish with this quote I really love about connection.
“A bond is a deep connection that cannot be broken – heart to heart are connected.”
– Phen Xiong.
